Did having children change your marriage for the better, or for the worse?

Question

I just read a horribly terrifying article which purported that studies show that having children basically makes people unhappy in their marriages, and unhappy over all. We arr currently TTC our first child, and I am not changing my my mind over an article or anything, but I am interested to hear from some real people about this? What did having children do to your relationship?

Answer

My husband is a guy's guy. We don't have a lot of interests in common, actually, but we enjoy each other's company. I had to work on him for awhile before he was willing to make the leap with me into parenthood. He worried he wouldn't be a good dad, but when our first daughter was born he took to it like a fish to water. He once commented to me that holding our baby in his arms for the first time he felt like a hammer that had just met its first nail. A guy's guy way of saying he found his true purpose.  Having children together has made us both very happy and fulfilled. Maybe life without kids i
Would be easier, but I believe emptier would be more accurate.

Answer

We don't have children yet. Still trying for our first after 2 years. I can say I have seen similar studies and have based my own opinion. Your marriage will suffer after children IF you decide to solely focus on your kids. On the other hand, if you and your spouse continue to build on the relationship you have while having children, you should be just fine. We know plenty of other couples who have kids and wonderful marriages. You just have to work on both.

Answer

It changes a lot and puts strain on it but having kids doesn't mean your marriage will be unhappy. We still love each other, but there were some hard times between less sleep and stress

Answer

Kinda both when I first had my little girl I fell into depression very badly and then my husband did to and went looking for condor from another person which as a result i almost lost my family but now I have forgivin him and my baby girl is turning five and we made it threw a lot of shit in those 5 years it we are so much stronger now because of it and we're r happier than we have ever ben

Answer

Having a child does neither. It intensifies how your relationship is already. Miscommunication will turn into huge arguments, good moments will turn into incredible moments, anger will turn into fury, etc...

Answer

There were better moments and worse. I feel like in the long run having our child made us stronger.

Answer

Working on conceiving our first now. Children can be extremely stressful. Of course some people could say kids ruined their lives, just like finances, adultery, alcohol, gambling, etc. Long story short, anything can ruin your marriage if you let it.

Answer

Both! Having and caring for a child together can be stressful, so really it has more to do with the individual spouses and how you handle stress and new challenges (both separately and as a couple), rather than the child itself. There are important decisions to be made (and sometimes argue over), increased hormones (for you postpartum), new schedules, lack of sleep, and more. If you don't work well as a team and/or have communication issues, children only exacerbate those problems. If you have a strong foundation, then sure there will be rough times but ultimately things should be resolved before they get too bad!

Answer

It made ours worse.. Things were perfect. So happy it was all about us. But then when we had our baby girl. I became lost from him I guess. Its like when he fell in love with her he fell out of love with me.. It was very hard we almost called it quits so many times. We r still holding on. Sometimes I wonder what for though

Answer

I just read that myself and figured that not everyone falls into that catagory. We are currently TTC and having the best time in our marriage, just trying to figure it out one day at a time. You shouldn't worry ! I know I'm not going to! 😊

Did having children change your marriage for the better, or for the worse?

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