Deal breaker? SO and mom don't get along

Question

If your SO doesn't like your family and/or your family doesn't like your SO, is it a deal breaker?

I am incredibly close to my mom, we get along great and she really helps me with my son (I work full time plus going to school part time). My boyfriend (not my sons dad btw) is a great guy. He treats me well, would never abuse me, cheat on me, etc. We've been together 2 years and my mom and bf are just complete opposites and just flat out don't like each other. I'm just so confused... I'm trying to figure out a new living situation. I currently own my home and my mom lives with me. My bf will not move in with me bc she's living here and wants us to buy a house together but doesn't want my mom to come and doesn't want a place with a "granny flat". The problem with that is my mom can't afford a place by herself, plus I can't abandon my mom, especially after how much she has helped me.

Does anyone have advice or been in this situation?

Answer

I don't know... Family is forever and it would make life really hard because after time those tensions generally get worse instead of better. I would just say try as best you can to keep your eyes open to all the negatives of the relationship open so you can decide if it's worth (possibly) dealing with for the rest of your life. I don't know you or your family, but with my situation my Mom saw my ex husband much more clearly than I did. I really though he was great until he left me and I started to date my now-husband. Now I see my ex so much clearer. All that to say, don't be quick to dismiss family's opinions.

Answer

Everyone has their own deal breakers so only you can answer this. My Mom was an awful mother and we aren't on great terms. Not having a relationship with her isn't a deal breaker for me at all. If your Mom is important to you, then you shouldn't feel so dismissed by your significant other.

Answer

If he treats you and your son good, I'd tell your mom to get over it. I know you're close to her, but why lose a good guy because she just can't like him? Good men are hard enough to find

Answer

My mom got over it. She's hated him since she found out I had a boyfriend and would sneak around. I was 14 and he was 16. She finally got over it and they get along once I got pregnant at 18 and moved in together. Now expecting our second four years later. She knows he's not going anywhere.

Answer

My bf doesn't really care for my parents and my parents don't like him. My mom will blame me and say I don't make an effort but really it's her that doesn't even try and I think it's cause she's a little jealous. I mean before my bf came along I spent all my time with my mom we did everything together and now that my bf is around and we are getting serious she tries to push him away and tells me I can do better and we aren't right for each. I just ignore her cause I know my bf is the most amazing guy and she knows how all my exs treated me but doesn't care..and it's like if my mom doesn't like him either does my dad or the rest of my family.

Answer

Not being a bitch but could there be a little bit of your mam that doesn't want things to work out with u and your bf? - as then u wouldn't need her as much and she wouldnt be as much the main focus of your life?  Reassure her that u want u all to be a family and u will always need her support and to be a good grandma to your son but u need to have a proper adult relationship to be happy and make a solid life for your child too.

Answer

If it bothers you, it will probably be an issue. You can change that though by having an open an honest conversation with both your SO and Mom. Good luck!

Answer

My husband isn't a big fan of my parents because if the way they treat me and once my mum told me I was settling by being with my husband. It wasn't a deal breaker for me, I knew he was the one so that was all that mattered. And parents aren't always the best judge of things.

Answer

If it's something you want to do then maybe you and your mom should sit down and discuss your current living situation and when she plans to move on. Eventually your going to need to move out, and what if you two end up married? You moving on is going to happen one day. You and her might as well start the discussion for the future.

Answer

My step dad and grandma was like that. My step dad spoke with her and she begin respecting him every since.

Deal breaker? SO and mom don't get along

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