How to tell friends who are TTC...??

Question

Our closest friends are TTC, how do we tell them about our pregnancy?

Answer

Infertile here who finally conceived via IVF. I would probably tell hem over the phone. They will want to be excited for you but the initial emotion may be more sad that they are still struggling. I found it easier to find out via phone or text vs in person. It gave me more time to process and out my feelings aside so I could really be happy for them. Also don't focus much on their infertility. No one wants the be felt sorry for. But I agree don't bitch about your symtoms. My extremely fertile sil complained about the gender of the baby in front of my and I was pissed. It's obviously ok to be disappointed if you were hoping for a girl and are having a boy but try not to voice it in front of them. And last don't tell them last. They will know it was because you afraid to tell them. Congratulations on your pregnancy. It took us 3.5 years for this baby  and while I will admit to being a little jealous of your first time trying  pregnancy I would never wish my struggle on anyone. Best of luck to you and your baby.

Answer

My sister in law has had multiple MCs and so I called my brother and told him so he could tell her and give her a chance to process. I explained why and everything. He didn't get it cuz he randomly and casually just said "oh yeah my sister is pregnant"

But at least she didn't feel the need to fake excitement over any twinges of sadness since I wasn't there. But I figured he would be a bit more gentle.

Answer

I have a friend going through IVF right now, and another one who just had two early miscarriages. It was really hard to tell them, but I think the key for me was just making sure to be sensitive to their pain. I told them alone so they didn't have to deal with the blow in a big group and I absolutely never complain about my pregnancy symptoms to them, or mention how I got pregnant my first month of trying. Just be aware of the fact that those friends would probably give anything to be going through morning sickness and constipation if it meant they were getting a baby. And when I told them I focused on the fact that I really wanted the baby and I was definitely trying to have one. I'm not sure of your exact situation, but if yours was an accident, maybe just try to avoid that. Don't lie, but if you don't have to offer up that info, then don't. They will probably be sad for themselves and happy for you at the same time, so don't be upset or take it personally if they aren't overjoyed or show some disappointment when you first tell them. They are happy for you, they just need time to process their emotions. And believe it or not, I also think it helps that I am very open and honest about my pregnancy. I don't tip-toe around them and make it awkward. I think it would be worse for them if they noticed I was purposely not talking to them about my pregnancy.

Answer

I am the friend who was TTC. I am 11 weeks along with my first (thank you God) but over the past 4 years I've watched all my girlfriends get pregnant and have been subject to all their announcements in various ways. If you are really close to the person TTC, I recommend telling them apart from a group. Tell her/the TTC couple over dinner. She will be ecstatic for you, and she will appreciate that you wanted to tell her one on one rather than in a group reveal setting. It gives her a little time to process it too.

Answer

Can they not find out on Facebook like everyone else? What about in a group message of mutual friends?

Answer

I had a couple work friends I wanted to tell personally and privately and just let them know I was aware of their feelings and never wanted them to be blindsided by a big announcement. They were nothing but positive and happy for me. One said, "I know my time will come when it's my time!" I was happy for her positive attitude. Now on the other hand, I have a cousin who has been TTC for awhile and I'm nervous about telling her. I want to tell her myself, privately but that side of the family gabs so quickly so I pretty much have to be ready to tell EVERYONE once I tell my cousin.

Answer

Thank you all for the replies. 
We have a trip planned with them Thursday-Sunday and will be staying in our camper. I have had multiple bouts with morning sickness and want them to be aware of what's up before then. They are our closests friends and I want them to be in the loop before they found out from someone else.

Answer

I have a friend who lost her baby the month he was due. She is still on bedrest recovering. I made sure I told her in person and I made sure she was the first one in the group to know.  I also felt out the situation first. I was at her house for a good four hours talking to her about her ordeal and life in general before I told her.  It was the first time I had seen her in person since her miscarriage. But I didn't want her to hear it from anybody else and I wanted to make sure she was OK.  She took it very well and was full of helpful advice for me.

I have a friend who is also pregnant in a different group. She said she told her best friend and that girl was having trouble getting pregnant for the last couple years. Now she says that girl doesn't talk to her anymore. Sad.  I'm not sure how she broke the news.

How to tell friends who are TTC...??

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