My boyfriend still has his ex on social medias and I'm jealous, is this normal?(ps. They don't talk as far as ik)

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I still have my ex as a fb friend and so does my husband. I guess it's normal to be jealous but if they aren't doing anything inappropriate then I wouldn't make an issue of it.

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I would be too, there's no reason for them to have each other on anything unless kids are involved. 
We made a deal that no exes are mentioned or present in any way in our relationship.. But that's just what works for us as non of us are friendly with any ex!

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If she's not trying to get with him, being disrespectful , or flirting back and forth, there's no reason to care. It's just insecurity. I'm friends with every one of my exes on social media and my husband is friends with a few of his. They may like a pic or two , catch up every once in a while, but other than that , it's nothing.

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No way? Unless there are children involved then that shouldn't be happening.

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1/ It seems common, but personally I'm not ok with it if they're not actually in touch in an upfront way as actual friends in real life.

Facebook-only (or social media-only) contact is a hidden thing and lends itself to unhealthy browsing habits, regular ex updates & flirty messaging; it keeps the connection in some tentative way indefinitely.

If my BF had been genuine real life friends with an ex in a healthy open way when we met, and they had normal contact, and catching up meant me joining them, fine. I could accept that. But I feel Facebook or social media is one foot in & one foot out (half connected, but won't cut the strings).

On the verge of starting a family last year, I caught my BF in a phase of regularly browsing exes, girls from brief relationships years ago he'll never see again. Really regularly, I was so hurt & worried why he was doing this. I cried and even talked to a counsellor over the phone to plan my conversation with him.

I ended up writing him a 3-page letter, which I read to him, in view of significant steps we were about to take. I was nervous & cried during part of it, he knew I was serious.

I asked my BF if they were people he'd call, if we'd be having coffee and arranging to catch up with them when we visit their hometown (he originally lived overseas). If he'd send them a birthday card, you know - things you do with real life friends. He said no, as if he found the idea ludicrous. Yet he initially didn't want to cut ties, even though it upset me.

Anyway, I was devastated by these constant searches and album viewings, kind of keeping track of their lives covertly from a distance unbeknownst to me or them, and I worried he had unfinished business or some interest remaining. If it's not behaviour he felt he could tell me about, then it's not right is it? That is not ok. I felt wanted to pull back from any more commitments or plans while he had this going on.......

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....2/ ... Originally he said it was because things hadn't ended on bad terms, but I explained remaining Facebook friends isn't a way of honouring what they'd once had. The way things end with someone is the way you pay your respect to the relationship. I left things in a friendly way with my own exes, and if I ran into them I'd stop and say hi etc, but we all moved on. They've had families, and I don't need them in my feed nowadays. I remember them fondly, but I don't wish to send "happy birthday" to a guy I dated for 5 months 9 years ago because I'm getting reminders of his life events and milestones.

His behaviour certainly didn't honour what we had. I told him we needed to be focused on us and he now and making memories together, as a family. Not be regularly looking back and reminiscing.

Frankly I don't understand maintaining any social media connection with anyone who you don't plan to catch up with again, ex or otherwise, but for me it's a definite no no if you've been intimate with that person. It leaves curiousity open to be indulged.

If you can't bring yourself to delete a connection you don't truly have present in your life & don't plan to again, what are you so afraid of losing? Why is it important to you? Have you really let them go?

In the end he apologised and deleted the connections out of his own initiative. It has taken a little while for me to regain trust. But we're in a really good place now. Our relationship is excellent, he's a fantastic respectful partner with the exception of this... his behaviour was damaging at the time, and his defensiveness made me really question our future.

Obviously I feel very strongly about this issue. It's different if you share children.

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I wouldnt allow it. But thats just me.

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You should be because if they don't have kids they shouldn't be communicating with each other...I'm sure he wouldn't be ok with you communicating with your ex!!!

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It's totally normally to be jealous of that its just like they have a history and everything so why wouldn't u be jealous as long as there not texting though your fine

My boyfriend still has his ex on social medias and I'm jealous, is this normal?(ps. They don't talk as far as ik)

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