Am I a bad friend?

Question

My bff & I are both 17. She has always been more "free spirited" than I have. She finally met a great guy & got pregnant. We stopped talking as much. She started to only call to cry or complain about him so of course, me being the best friend, I started to dislike him. He started calling her bad names. Saying she got ugly & fat since she got pregnant. That lead up to lying & cheating. THEN one day she caught a girl at their apartment he got angry & literally, LITERALLY PUSHED HER ON THE FLOOR PUNCHED HER & DRUG HER OUT OF THE HOUSE‼️ while the girl he cheated on her with watched! I WAS PISSED! I demanded her to stay away from him. He got into another relationship then beat her up! WTF! While she was 9 months pregnant! Now the baby is here & she kept saying she wasn't going back & I believed her & motivated her to move on. He wasn't there when the baby was born & when he did come only stayed for 30 minutes. She even asked him to come to the hospital while she got some rest & he showed up the next day! He's 20, no job, no nothing. Now she's telling me they're getting back together....... After he beat you up?! NO, WHY⁉️ she says because she "can't ignore her feelings" "he's her first love" BULLSHIT. He's disrespectful asf. If he'll beat you while he's pregnant he'll do it while you aren't pregnant! Maybe in front of your child! I'm pissed off at her & I'm currently ignoring her calls/text! Does that make me a bad friend?

Answer

Isolation from friends and family is an abusers best weapon, don't let him use them. If you leave her now, who will she have to turn to when he hits her again? If he throws her out of the house? She is in a very dangerous situation right now and your number one job is to be her safe place. You can't force her to walk away and you can't talk her into walking away, and you can't ignore her into walking away, all you can do is keep supporting her, telling her you are always waiting to get her out of there the minute she says go, but you know that it is her decision to make. Please google how to help a friend in an abusive relationship because there are so many resources for you!!!!

Answer

She is in a abusive Relationship.  It is hard to leave. Thoes men are manupulative. She needs help not to be ignored. Get her some counselling or get her contact with a support service

Answer

What would make you a bad friend is not getting her help. Call the police, get some legal help involved. Talk to your local women's shelter and find her somewhere safe to say. Look up local resources and instead of completely ignoring her, say "Instead of talking to me, call this national domestic abuse hotline and tell them what's going on." Because if you can't handle it, then don't put yourself through it. But don't leave her all alone.

Answer

You are doing all you can. She's just really confused right now

Answer

This is a lot of take on as a teenager, so yes what the other posters have mentioned is the ideal response but you are not a therapist or a counsellor and your mental well being goes above her's. If you feel like you don't know how to handle the situation perhaps approaching her parents or your parents with your concerns would be a good start. If you approach your parents with your concerns perhaps they can contact her's. There definitely needs to be intervention and she definitely needs assistance but don't feel obligated to take on the responsibility of keeping her safe. You can be her support when she runs from him but you don't need to try and coax her away from him. Leave that to an adult and/or a professional. I would hate for you to sacrifice your mental well being over someone else's. Be there for her but don't be her therapist and please get some adults involved. These situations end in homocides all too often from the abuser simply "loosing it" one time and that can't be undone.

Answer

You don't agree so your removing your self . Nobody want to hear some one cry and complain yet still run back . You have your own life to worry about . She's your friend and all but you can't live her drama . She has to see for her self

Answer

Well ur intentions are good but u do kinda have to try to understand that it's her first love and she has a baby with him, it's gonna be hard to let him go for her. Ur right about it all and that she needs to leave him, but I don't think ignoring her is doing much good. I'll be praying for her and the baby and that horrible mans soul

Answer

To the people voting yes at least be brave enough to comment HOW!

Answer

My friends bfs know better because I heard my sisters (bff) baby daddy hit her once. That once was the only time because I called his ass and threatened to shoot him if he did it again. they all know from the get go that I ain't afraid of them. I say wanna put your hands on a female then put your hands on me, and they don't because they know it'll be the last thing they fucking do. Jtry and work with her. Show her she can have a better and safer life not just for her but the baby too. BTW y'all 17 and he's 20 and had a baby with her? He could get arrested for Stat rape depending where y'all live.

Am I a bad friend?

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