I'm broken. Pls help.
My bf is violent. I've thought about accusing him of domestic violence already. Because he will literally explote over anything, he will yell at me, get in my face, wanting to grab me, throw shit around, hit the walls, hit himself. SO MANY shit. And we were ttc for a year and a half, but I noticed that he wouldn't change so I stopped trying... And it's when I get pregnant!!! 😭😭😭 I didn't want this nomore. I wanted to move back to my moms house and get all his negativity out of my life that he brings in. I feel depressed, unloved, unappreciated, unprotected, I feel scared every time we fight now because I don't like how he gets nomore. I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like he made me lose my worth because of so many times he's made me cry and hurt me everyday for almost 2 years now... I can't believe I'm pregnant .... We faught today again, and he still acts like the same little fucking prick he has always been. I thought he was ganna be here for me and the baby and understand that he can't be like that anymore. Besides it can stress me out and I can lose the baby... Idk what to do :( I want to abort it.... Because I don't want it to live what I'm living with its dad right now :( I'm scared of telling my mom because of my decision I want to make..... I feel like I'm not ready and I feel like this isn't the best for me... I'm about to be 20 and I have a job and car and everything... But still :( he dsnt support me. I feel depressed and I start to cry and he won't care :( he dsnt make me feel better, he just sits there and watches me cry and keep acting up with me :( I've been watching so many abortion videos on YouTube and all I do is cry :( I don't want to go thru that, but I don't have a better choice 😞😞 he wsnt even excited when I told him I was pregnant and showed him the tests.... 😞 this is my first child, and I don't feel excited or anything 😞 I'm having a bad experience for my first time :( All I ask for is for his support... :( he can't even give me that.