Ex boyfriend body found today.

My Ex boyfriend's body was found today. 3 hours ago.

We date last two years of high school. And a year after highschool. He was my first everything.

I loved him so much. I would give him anything.

Our relationship turned toxic. He cheated on me. He was my first.

He became abusive to me later on in the relationship. We broke up and got back together after I cheated on him.

We then stayed together. In our own apartment. Our own car. We did everything together. Everything.

We broke up because I moved away and was depressed. I thought it would be best that I had space for our toxic relationship.

But he was still my friend.

We didn't talk for a year. 1 full year. I dated two guys after that.

2nd guy I now have a baby with who is 2 weeks old.

I wanted to see how he was doing so many times. I still thought about him here and there. You just don't forget your first love.

I just found out he was missing yesterday at 5 pm. Police dogs found his body today in the water.

I was told from a friend of my sisters.

This was my home town where everyone knows everyone.

I just don't know how to feel. It just doesn't seem real.

Just when you start to see how valuable life is from having your first child.

Someone close to you is gone.

He wasn't always right by me.

But I loved him. He is still a life to me. I don't know how to feel.

**edit**

****update****

Thank you everyone who commented.

What should be my next step. In aproaching his mother? I want to send my condolences but I left on "not so good" terms with his mother.

I don't know what to do I'm afraid to say anything.