Am I being selfish ?

Question

I'm a FTM due at the end of August with a son ! My boyfriend has two children from a previous relationship that have lived with us for almost 3 years now. For about 2 years now, things have been really strained and stressful between my boyfriend and I. He doesn't work and I fully support him, his kids and myself ... Since I moved out in August I've been supporting 2 households with no complaints or nagging him to get a job. Now that I'm pregnant he wants me to move back into his house and for us to work on our relationship and be a family, which is honestly what I want being that I didn't have a father growing up. But I really hate the way he treats me, talks to me and makes me feel. He's constantly putting me down and telling me I'm not good enough or what I've done isn't good enough. He critisizes everything I do or say and let's me know how horrible of a person I am and that nobody likes me any chance he gets. Too him I'm just being sensitive but my feelings are genuinely hurt everytime. We bounce between fussing and not speaking to each other and I feel that I should just keep my apartment but he acts as if he's not gonna be involved in my child's life if I decide not to be with him. As much as I want my son to know his father, I want to be happy as well. Am I being selfish?

Answer

No Ur not being selfish. Secondly do not move with him. And stop supporting him. He's unappreciative nd as long as U continue to support his household of course he'll stay home and not find a job because Ur supporting him. Nd if he doesn't want to be involved with U or the child si be it but U don't need the negativity or stress.

Answer

You're supporting him and children of another one and you're the one that is selfish? That should be your answer right there. He seems like an asshole and is using putting you down to make you feel bad and come back. Run away, you and your baby will be better off without someone like that in your life. Good luck!

Answer

In a perfect world every child would live with two loving and supportive parents. I'm sure my mom would have loved nothing more than to have married a good guy who would love us and support us, but she didn't and so she high tailed it out of that relationship before I was born. Let me tell you, she is one of the most hard working, loving, and supportive people I know and I would not trade the life she gave me for anything.

I love my husband very much and he is truly one of the good ones, but if he ever said anything to me or our kids like what has been said to you he would be out on his ass before he even knew what hit him.

Answer

In two words- leave him.

Answer

You're not selfish. My boyfriend was the same exact way. He made me feel so miserable but I got fed up and left. He wanted us to be a family and I told him if he wanted to be a family he would have to change and I said if you really cared about your child and this baby coming out healthy, you can not stress me. It's been over 6 months now and he's changed a lot. No arguing or anything. Just talk to him and let him know. Set some rules and you'll be fine.

Answer

Thank you so much ladies !

Answer

I understand you want a dad for your son but is that how you want your son growing up thinking a man should be like?

Answer

You need to sit him down and have a long chat with this man before you even think of moving back in with him, I think he is being insensitive and instead of him sitting around and complaining he should man up. And I wouldn't blame any parent who wants their child/children to grow up in a good and respectable home, if the father can't play the role of a grown and respectable man for his children then you as the mother need to set a better example and environment to raise your baby in. I wish you the best and hope that the both of you can come to some sort of understanding.

Answer

Another woman***

Answer

Sounds to me like he is being the selfish one. I'd say a couple things would need to happen before you two are in a good position to live a happy life together: 1. He needs to get off his ass and support the family for a change. 2. You both need therapy/couples counseling. He needs to learn to respect and support you and you need to learn how to respect yourself again. Without a solid foundation it'll just be more heartache and hassle down the line, trust me.

Am I being selfish ?

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