Feeling down...

I have 2 boys and I am having baby #3 in November. In 2 days I'm having the panorama blood test that will tell us the gender. 
I'm really afraid of having another boy cause I think this will be our last attempt at trying for a girl... 
I don't really want to know the gender because I'm afraid I'll be disappointed again if it's a boy... I know I should be happy either way, but I just want a girl so bad... 😞😞😭😭