Severe stress and heightened emotions...

I wanted to write a post somewhere that I don't know anyone. I'm expecting my first baby on or around 23rd November in the UK.

After an argument with my (ex)partner about money, I ended up breaking it off with him because he got extremely nasty towards me and threatened to "make me wish I'd never met him". He's training in the British army and the wage is pretty rubbish until the platoon passes out. He tried to say that it was never a physical threat but that he just meant he would make me hate him, this only made me think that he was threatening to be mentally abusive.

I told him to stay away from me and never contact me again. I can understand he is stressed because he can only just about cover rent, council tax and child maintenance for his other daughter, but I got really tired of him only thinking of himself and he hasn't remotely considered the stress I'm under at home.

I'm off work anyway on sick, because I've felt incredibly down and anxious in general and have a history of depression so have been anxious that I was on the verge of relapsing. His whole family had given me the cold shoulder for a reason still unknown to me, because I hadn't seen or spoken to them recently. My partner did not show any support by sticking up for me or confronting his family, etc. Absolutely nothing! His answer is always "why do you care?" Or "don't stress about it".

I have the added bonus of being 15 weeks pregnant so my emotions are literally everywhere anyway, but I've been extremely tired and unable to motivate myself to get out and about. My friends are 60 miles away because I moved back to my hometown to be nearer other family members and create a new start. I've created the new start, for sure, but haven't managed to make new friends so have no supportive circle here. Then I feel abandoned by my partner when he leaves to go training 200 miles away and seemed only bothered about coming home to see his daughter or to see his family - never really wanting to spend quality time with his pregnant fiancé.

Since the relationship broke down a couple days ago, I've been crying all the time (natural regardless of me being pregnant) and just feel so alone. I've got family and friends supporting me but it doesn't feel the same as when you have a partner there for you.

Right now I feel I'm at my most vulnerable because all I want is to have my partner back, but logic is telling me that if we're arguing a lot and he's making threats, then there's no point. I still love him because naturally you can't just switch those feelings off. I'm totally afraid of being a single mother despite being raised by a single mother and seeing my friends muddling through single motherhood.

I don't expect to gain anything by posting this but figured I'd get it off my chest somewhere.

If you do have any words of wisdom and advice to share, please feel welcome to do so. Just don't troll me...please!