Long term relationship and sexual frustration

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. We broke up for a few months in between because we were both too insecure and immature. I waited and waited for him to want to get back together (typically not like me at all). I had slept with someone else after a few months had passed, thinking that it was time to move on. Time passes and I told him about it because I thought we were starting to work things out and get back together. Since then we have been back together for a year and a half and our sex life is not existent. He won't make any moves on me and isn't dominant like I like. It's a turn off for me to do all the work, same position same place every time. I try to talk to him about it but he gets sad and worried I'm going to leave. I know he is insecure but it's really rubbing me the wrong way and I feel NEGLECTED SEXUALLY. I love him so much and he does so much for me and my family. We are intimate, we take showers together regularly we cuddle and we always say we love each other. I don't know what to dooooooo. Even fantasizing about him and I has become difficult... I don't know if we need couples counseling or what. But it's taking a toll on my confidence.