Emotional Rant
I know I've mentioned that I'm spotting in another post, and I don't know why. I'm also starting to have pelvic pains and a lot of bloating. I can't seem to turn my mind off about it. I want so badly to take a pregnancy test, but I already know it'll be negitive. AF just ended her visit on 6/7. I started testing for ovulation on 6/8. All the ovulation test were negative, including the one I took this morning.
If I go to the doctor and find out the pelvic pains I'm having are related to the tumor and not a pregnancy, I'll be devastated. I keep wondering if I was stupid to believe that I could do this - I could give the man I love a baby after I was told I would never have another child, 3 years of ago. It's a miracle I'm still alive, I was also told I wouldn't be. When my doctor finally told me I could conceive a child in March, it was a another miracle!
I don't mean to doubt God. He could have let me die, He didn't. I have to trust that this pain and this spotting is implantation. I have to be patient until June 25th, which is the day I'm supposed to take a pregnancy test this month. And if its negitive, there's always next month!
OK, I feel better now. Just had to get that out of my system.
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