Gender Disappointment

I feel absolutely terrible feeling this way as I know there are many couples out there who would love more than anything to even have a baby. I already suffer from depression and have been trying my best to manage this pregnancy with no meds, but I'm really struggling here. 

I've read that what I'm feeling is natural and it will get better but I have no drive for moving forward anymore. Has anyone been through this? What has helped you?

*Update* I've been wanting to write an update to let everyone know that I have been watching comments over the past couple of days. 

I want to clarify that I didn't get pregnant expecting any particular gender. When we found out, I pinned things for both genders, planned things for both genders, and picked out names. We prepped for either. 

Starting around 6-7 weeks, I was already saying what we were having. I knew what they were. Even weeks before we officially found out I was telling people I knew what it was, and I was right. 

I can't control my reactions due to my depression. People who suffer from it know this can happen. I hated myself for feeling this disappointment. I even told my sister in law that I felt I didn't deserve a baby shower because I was mad at myself for feeling this way. 

The crying spells subsided after about 2 days. I've been trying to plan the nursery and plan on lingering through the baby section at Target. Although I'm not feeling quite the same as I was a couple days ago, I'm not 100% better. It will take time. I expressed my feelings to my husband and talked to my sister in law and that has helped a lot. 

I know not everyone understands, and not everyone will, so I encourage those who have thought negative things or left negative comments to educate yourselves on the matter. I reached out for support from a community who I thought would understand more than anyone in my family, and although I did get a lot of that, there was too much negativity. But thank you to those who were sympathetic and understanding. Know that your words are with me.