Any advice or ideas?

Question

I am really worried about how to manage the household with a newly 2 yr. old and an infant. I had planned on support from my mother and MIL after bringing the new baby home. They both completely bailed (not available to help or babysit toddler at all). We moved closer to our moms and an hour and a half away from our friends. Anyone have ideas or recommendations about how to make it work without support people? Anything I should prepare for ? Currently no one to even watch our toddler during labor so I'll have to go it alone too.

Answer

I had a toddler at home the last time and I came home with the baby and only cleaned when definitely needed. I worried more about feeding and cuddling with both of them after about 6 wks you get into a good routine where while one naps you clean one area and while the other eats you clean another. You start realizing that your house isn't ever going to be perfectly clean and that's ok. You also realize to sleep when you can which is very little in small increments. What's nice is your body gets use to it. Now with a 3&2 yr old at home and 6 wks to go for baby to arrive in not scared I'm just excited to see how the dynamic is going to go

Answer

Just go with the flow. Some people are blessed with help while others do it alone and it's very doable. I was 19 with an 18 month old and a newborn, breastfeeding exclusively and was in nursing school. You'll do anything when you put your mind to it I promise. Plus I went back to work after 2 weeks.

Answer

You got this. This is when your partner gets to step up to help you out even more. Thankfully 2 yr olds still nap so get your nap in then too.

Answer

I had a toddler and newborn at home last time and found it pretty normal, I didn't have anyone come and help me, just kind of had to get on with it. My baby was born late at night so my son was watched overnight then dropped back off to me the next morning lol. But yeah, it was ok :)

Answer

Plan for lots of diapers & try to laugh as much as you can! My two oldest are 20 months apart. It was so stressful but the more I learned to laugh at the things that went wrong the easier it was. They are now 5 and 7 & are the best of friends. If my oldest goes to stay at her friends house for the night my 5 year old son is like a little lost puppy. I love having such a close age gap now. Looking back. It is so worth it. They have similar interests and mutual friends.

Answer

Postpartum doula

Answer

Find a local Facebook group for moms in your area and ask for a babysitter recommendation used by other moms. She can maybe help you while you deliver your baby and can come a couple times a week to be with your toddler while you nap, clean, run errands, etc. If you can afford it, get a cleaning lady/service at least 2xmonth to help with heavy cleaning. Use paper plates and plastic forks the first few weeks if needed so you have less dishes to do. Make meals before the birth and freeze them, and get quick fix meals like bagged salad and cold cuts for sandwiches. And finally, forgive yourself for the house being a little chaotic and messy the first few months. My son was also just under 2 when his brother was born, and my little one would scream if I didn't hold him, yet hated both baby carriers. So I felt like a hostage and got nothing done, everything seemed in disarray and it was frustrating. My little one is 2 now and our house is fine. I'm sure it'll get chaotic again when our next baby is due in 6 weeks :) the first 3-6 months are hard, but it gets easier.

Any advice or ideas?

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