My painful memory is something I carry with me everyday even sitting here 15 years later it's still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday it's something I never talk about and few know but today I want to share my story so here it goes (sn: there are some jumps in the timeline because if I told the whole story verbatim it would be a book)...when I was about 14 I thought I was in "love" and would be with my then bf forever (he was 2 years older) yeah I know dumb right? oh the mistakes we make growing up 😳 anyway fast forward we had been seeing each other for awhile he would often sneak in my back door which conveniently led right into my bed room (I wasn't allowed to date so I had to hide my relationship and he was black that was a huge nono) we had been doing this for awhile (haven't had sex at this point) I got to comfortable my luck ran out one day my dad caught him in my room! Oh man shit really went down hill after that especially mine and my dads relationship all we did was fight he wanted to keep me away from my bf and in turn I hated him for it I wanted to do what I wanted and I wanted to be with my bf so not long after I had this genius idea to run away to be with him surprisingly after I told him my crazy idea he was down we really didn't have a solid plan just acting on inpuls we would figure it out as went so that's exactly what we did I won't get into to meny details about this part becuase this story is already lengthy but we ended up sleeping outside, under bridges, by the river, in park's anywhere we could and during the day we would go to his moms house to shower change and eat while she was at work of course that didn't last long the police caught us one night and they took me back to my dads house I was terrified thankfully he wasn't there so I was sent to live with my mom as you can guess that didn't last long either I ended back with my bf up to no good but this time he talked his gram into taking us in I was there about a year it was pure hell he became very abusive physically, mentally, emotionally (i was 5'3 100 pounds at best he was 6'3 200 something) but the worst part I had no contact with anyone no one knew where I was and that's when it happened... I became pregnant (I was 15) things if you can believe it got worse he would hit me in my stomach in hopes of making me miscarry 😞 he reached out to my dad to set up a meeting for all of us to meet and talk about the pregnancy (he knew my dad would be on his side about not keeping it) but I wanted to keep it so I stayed... the abuse got worse...he didn't want it... I gave in.. I remember laying on the table they gave me an ultrasound she said I was 19 weeks they only go to 20... I had no choice pressure from everyone.. so I did it....2 days before my 16th birthday...I had what I now know is a late term abortion...it kills me inside everyday..it's something I still struggle with even sitting here today 30 yo with 2 daughters I'm gratful for them..I wish someone would have told me a different way another path I would give anything to take it back