Hi my name is Rebecca.
I had a super hard pregnancy from beginning to end. I honestly looked forward to labor because pregnancy would be over and I'd get to meet my daughter.
Well she was born 6/4/16 at 3:19am and was taken away to the NICU within 5 minutes due to breathing issues and possible brain problems and I didn't get to see her. She was then transported to another hospital an hour+ away for a special cooling treatment for her lungs and brain. I had gotten a 3rd degree tear so by the time I was stitched up I was so woozy that I almost passed out sitting up and I missed out on getting to see her before she was transported.
Thankfully I was transferred to the same hospital as her.
She spent a total of 11 days in the NICU. It was the longest and scariest week and a half of our lives and honestly...its left us a wreck basically. I already dealt with depression and anxiety before pregnancy which has only gotten worse, and my husband has been experiencing bad anxiety.
We're totally fine with our baby girl during the day. Night time comes though and we both struggle so hard. While she was in the NICU it was terrifying leaving her every night not knowing what the morning would bring, but at least we had each other to seek comfort in and just hold each other all night.
With a newborn that's obviously not usually an option. They require care and attention at night. Something that my husband and I are really struggling with. We've had to end up asking family to come help us out at night so that we can just sleep and try to get ourselves better so we can actually take car of our daughter.
Of course in turn this makes us feel like bad parents because we're not able to give her all the care and love she needs and deserves at night. Getting anxious and stressed out only makes her get anxious and stressed out too.
Has anyone experienced anything similar to this? I would really love to talk to someone and share experiences and fears and all.