Here's a complicated plot for you... This guy and I dated for a couple months about 7 years ago. Happy relationship, I fell head over heels for him, as did he, or so I thought. He had just finished high school and was starting college while I was headed for my last year of high school. Long story short, he went to a party, drank too much, and made out with another girl, whom I knew. He calls me to break the news the next morning and things ended badly between us. About a year after that, I ran into him and his new girlfriend (the same girl from the party), and we decided to get together with some of our other friends. A few months go by of a group of us hanging out enjoying each other's company when he comes to me out of nowhere and says things aren't good between him and his girlfriend and he wanted my advice. Being the nice person that I believe I am, I suggested he work things out her. Fast forward another year and they break up anyways. Said girlfriend blaming it on me and she wasn't completely wrong. Here's where it gets messy. They break up and we hook up. I guess it's where we became friends with benefits. We spent an exuberant amount of time together, him believing it was all about the sex, and me, still 100% in love with him. At the time, I was desperate just to be around him, and the sex was good so it just worked. Fast forward a few more months and he gets a new girlfriend out of nowhere, I had no idea he was even talking to anyone else! Things got a little weird between us for a week or two and then we both realized that we are really good friends and we didn't want to lose that friendship. So we continued hanging out, seeing the occasional movie, going to bars, the usual friend stuff. It was great. His girlfriend liked me, we all got along, things were good. To the last phase of the story. About two months ago (after this 7 year journey), him and this girl broke up. They had been dating for 2 years. They were trying to make a long distance relationship work and it just wasn't so she called it quits. He wasn't upset. After two years of being together they never once said "I love you" to one another. (Strange, I know) at this point, he and I are closer than ever. He's my bestfriend and we see each other at least 5 days a week and text or talk on the phone every day. About 3 weeks ago, he kissed me. One thing led to another and we were back in bed together. I was so confused when it happened that I didn't stop to talk or even ask about it. And it felt so good. Well now all those feelings that I bottled up and turned into friendship have rushed back. We've hooked up a couple times over the past month and things have been reallllllly good. There's no awkwardness, it just comes so natural. A week or so ago I texted him when I got home out of curiosity to see if he was just looking to hook up, and he responded yes. A part of me is upset, because I'm always going to hold on to the hope that we were meant to be together. But another part of me was okay with the answer, because if we were really meant to be together, wouldn't we be? Im just so conflicted and confused by the whole thing. It doesn't seem normal for someone that is 'just in it for the hook ups' to call, text, and hang out with me everyday. Especially since we have only had sex a maximum of 6 times, the rest was just normal every day hanging out. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I don't know. But I guess if I did know, I wouldn't be posting about it. Forever confused.