Sorry in advance
I just sent this out to everyone we were sharing our first <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> journey with so as you will see I'm not sharing my story anymore with anyone other than you gals. So I'm sure I'll be talking a lot! Sorry
Letter is below (it's long one if you have time)
I've been tired, emotional and fairly overwhelmed as I come to terms with the reality that our fertility treatments didn't work. Mostly I've just been trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is my story. I'm someone who did all the testing, surgery, all the procedures, all the medication … and still didn't get pregnant. That's my story. I wish it wasn't. But it is. I'm here.
We do have plans to keep moving forward, we will continue to fight for our family and we will never stop fighting!
Thank you for all your support you given us along the way we couldn't ask for better people to be surrounded by! We will be keeping our plans to ourselves this time around. Thanks for understanding that the loss is just too much to share! We hope to share in our future someday when we're 12 weeks pregnant until then please don't ask about our journey until we're ready to share again.
As you know we knew they were healthy baby boy & girl because of testing we had to have done. They were healthy little perfect embryos that the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with but for some reason they didn't make it.
If you feel like reading more.... Little something with the help of other <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> Moms to all the little embryos that didn't make it.
I don’t know why you didn't become our children, or why our parents won’t get to call you grandbabies.
I don’t know why I won’t get to call you by the names we so carefully chose for you.
I don’t know why I can’t just be “normal” or why my body so strongly resists giving me what my heart desires.
I don’t know why you left me empty in so many places—my womb, my heart, the part of my soul that attached to you when the doctor put you inside of me.
I don’t know a lot of things, little embryos, but I do know this:
For you—and for all you gave me in our short time together—I am grateful.
I am grateful for the sense of purpose you gave me.
I am grateful because you made me feel like something bigger than myself (and I’m not just talking about all the bloating from the hormones and <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> medications). You made me feel responsible for protecting you. You made my body feel like a gift instead of a curse. You made me aware of the fragility of life, and you taught me how to cherish it.
I don’t know why our <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> transfer failed, why you didn’t grow into the beautiful little babies I imagined you could have been. I don’t know why I’ll never get to hear your hearts beat, feel your tiny feet kick, or swell with your growing life inside of me.
But I do know I am grateful for the days of “pregnancy” you gave me.
I am grateful for the short span of time we spent together before my negative blood test.
And I will always be grateful for the happy moments you gave me!
Goodbye my loves.
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
