I do not matter in my own home

It feels like ( I hate to say Ito really do because I love my baby boy dearly ) we shouldn't have gotten married and we shouldn't be bringing a new life into a household fully of unforgiveness and hatred . I'm trying so hard not to be overly emotional but it's so hard . My husband walks around and tells everyone horrible things about me behind my back . He has told me he doesn't want to spend time with me . The only reason I have anything for the baby is because either myself or my parents have bought it . He hasn't even bought a pack of diapers or a damn bottle. It feels like I'm married to an immature teenager. If her disliked me this much before why did he ever think it was a good idea to marry me or have a baby with me . This baby wasn't an accident.  I'm just so lost right now . I do not know what to do . I appologize for all this ranting I just needed a safe location to vent .