My boyfriend of 3.5 years found out yesterday that he has an almost 3 year old child.....

Here is a little back story. I began dating him in Dec 2012. He told me he had two kids and was very open with me. I love my step kids. Well 4 months into our relationship, he gets a text from a girl he used to mess with saying she was 5 months pregnant, but she was not positive who the father was. Naturally, my bf attempted to keep on contact with her, but she cut him off. Fast forward to after the child was born and was 8 months old. She contacts him saying he is a dead beat dad and really was verbally abusive. She provided zero information on the child, and he tried so hard to meet up. She then falls off the face of the earth again. Then this last January, the child is now 2 years old. She contacts him and tells him how another year went by and he was not there for her, and again with the verbal abuse, it was terrible. She provides no info on the child again, no birth date, no name, no pic, nothing. So my bf and I took her to court for paternity testing. I found this woman's father's Facebook page with pics of the child finally, and even a pic from when she was born with a hospital bracelet with her date of birth. Gave all we could to the court.

Well yesterday the papers came back with the results and my bf is so upset and is in total shock. I have to add, child doesn't look like him, so he felt pretty confident it was not his, especially with the odd ways she was acting. He does not want to look bad for being with me then having another child with another woman. 3 children and 2 baby mama's is a lot.

I don't know what to do. I'd love to have kids myself soon, but I cant see him managing all of this, especially with this woman. Everyone told me she never seemed quite right. She even told my boyfriend's sister that the child wasn't his. Her behaviors are so odd. I just can't believe this is all happeneing. I'm not sure I'm strong enough. I don't know what to do.

SECOND UPDATE: here is a text she sent to him recently....

"Well, how about this. Now that you have the results. I'll leave it in your hands. Where you want to take it.

I thought there's alot to talk about and was willing to see if we can agree on the next step and plan.... so that you didn't have to get a lawyer and go to court, and to avid child support, and avoid dragging her at visits in the court. I discussed with my lawyer if you went to court how it would go. Court is at least 6 months out. That's only for the first date. And it would start out like an hour or 2 every few weeks, classes , counseling ....etc. you wouldn't meet her til she's probably 4. Not to mention the fees , and costs of whoever files. Plus, many other reasons why I think we both don't want to be in court for this. And it would be ugly and if we didn't get along and she would see that. I reached out making an effort...... if you don't want that and don't think we have anything to talk about. Thats fine. Just say so. If you plan to not want to try outside court. Just tell me. I don't understand you questioning what we have to talk about ..."

She is panicking that he will take her to court. This is one of the more "normal" texts she has sent.

UPDATE: I've been doing much better, but my boyfriend is emotionally all over the place. He is second guessing our relationship becuse he doesn't want me to "suffer." We've had rough patches like any other couple, and for some reason this whole thing is bringing up EVERYTHING from the past. It's sad to see him so messed up. I try giving him space, I try supporting him. I hate seeing him like this. He is literally second guessing everything. Last month he was talking about engagement amd having a baby of our own, now he is considering leaving because he doesn't want to do any more "damage." I don't think he would actually leave, but he's so overwhelmed and he's just focusing on everything.