I'm so scared

Rebecca
My husband and I got pregnant only 3 months after officially ttc but we lost the baby at 12+6. Now over a year later I just found out I'm pregnant again!!!!! At first I was SOOOO excited but now all I can think about is losing another baby... When I lost my first I literally wanted to die. And to this day my heart is still broken and I'm not the same person. I think about my angel every day and I have never been able to move forward. I can't even enjoy this pregnancy because even when we are out of the first trimester(and supposedly safe from miscarriage) I will still be worried because of what happened last time. I'm angry or sad all the time. I'm never happy because all I do is worry. I'm im my own head constantly and it's seriously disrupting my daily life. I'm not looking forward to anything, I'm literally trying to convince myself that I'm not pregnant so that I ignore all the symptoms that tell me there is a baby inside me... I'm so scared to get my hopes up and start planning for the future, only to lose my baby again.... Anyone who has experienced this please help because I have no idea what to do:( Btw, I go to therapy and occasionally talk about my angel baby, but it has never helped. It's so hard to talk about it and even when I do, nothing a therapist (or anyone) tells me makes me feel better AT ALL.