I'm loosing my mind now 😢🔫

I'll try to make it understandable.

My bf and I had been trying to conceive for 8 months and nothing. So we decided to cleanse ourselves and cut down drinking ect. I got on prenatal vitamins on February 2016.

I got my period Feb 13-19. The next day (20th) I went out with my girls it had been a LONG time so I decided to enjoy myself and forget about conceiving.....well the drinks got to me. I woke up the next morning *Sunday* at this "so called friend's" house (Guy). Apparently he had shown up. I swear on anything I love I was blacked out then..anyways I woke up shocked because why was I in his house and not mine wtf happened. I got up quick and asked him to take me home Asap. On the way I asked what happened. He stated we had sex!! Whaaaaat?????? I asked him why if he knew I had a BF he stated I seemed ok that's why he didn't think much, I asked if he wore a condom and he said no but assured that he pulled out... omg was I crying all day that day. I had NEVER cheated on my bf NEVER. I haven't spoken to that "friend" since. I hate him I took it as he took advantage because I was drunk 😭 I since haven't spoken to my girls, weren't we all suppose to watch each other.?

March came along I never said anything to anyone specially my BF how the fuck could I have! I decided to just forget about it. It's March 17 I'm late. Take a test...guess what (+). *my bf and I never stopped trying* so I lost it wasn't myself for weeks didn't know what to say or do. Went for an ultrasound. Got my due date. Googled what day would I have had sex for me to end up being due that date.. sites say Feb 25th through March 7. I felt a relieve off my chest...

I'm 4 months away and idk why I'm feeling haunted again I'm sooo scared what if the baby is born and looks NOTHING like my Bf 💔💔

How am I gonna face my family his family friends ect....I'm dreading the day I give birth to come...I just want to disappear