Overwhelmed

Definitely feeling those pregnancy hormones today... I cried in front of my 7 year old, and he handled it like a champ. I always try to hide my emotions when I get like that, because I know he doesn't fully understand. 7 years is a long time to not have a baby, and I guess I'm just scared. Which is funny, because I was 17 when I had my son, and didn't fear anything. What if I don't find a rhythm like I did with him? What if I don't remember how to do everything correctly... I'm also giving breastfeeding a try this time around, and honestly it terrifies me. I'll be 28 weeks Saturday, and we have barely finished painting the nursery. Not to mention no furniture purchased.. My shower isn't until August 21, which I feel like is cutting it close with my due date being Sept 24. I'm not working currently, and have failed at getting a job this whole pregnancy so far.. Nothing but rejection calls and emails, so there is definitely some financial stress. With financial stress brings marital stress.. I try my best to do all of the household duties, since my husband works all week, but I still feel like I'm failing him and just a burden... He's been so amazing at providing for us since we had our son, and hardly ever complains. I just wish I could do more... I've been a blubbering mess all day, worrying about how to pay this, or pay that.. How will this get done? I guess it's just been one of those days. I'm sorry if you've suffered through reading this. I don't really have anyone to talk to at the moment, or anyone I feel comfortable enough expressing these things to. Sorry for the life story, thanks for letting me share.