Way too Late to be Feeling this Way

Been such an overwhelming night. Just realized that my dad is going to be getting a major surgery and no one will be there for him when he wakes up which broke my heart into so many pieces, everyone is either too far away or just.. doesnt care about him like that. He doesnt have any friends or nearby family and everyone keeps getting on me about my due date and when they should come visit and I'm just like I dont know if I even want alot of visitors and my man doesnt understand that, thinking I'll be perfectly fine to be surrounded by people when we come home. I need to use that time to recover. So emotional and so much on my mind. This is usually when I would have a really strong drink or (tbh) smoke a bowl and I cant do either one so I'm left with music and writing which gets me even more in my head. Both my heart and head just.. hurt. I'm so tired.