My Mom as a Grandma, Need advice, Please?

Question

Im not sure if I'm just cranky today or if i have a legitimate reason to be upset. I'm a 21w ftm, and it's the first grandbaby for my parents. My mom volunteers at a clothes closet for the needy. She's constantly pulling baby clothes, toys, maternity clothes, and anything else she thinks I'll need and sending it to me. Im already getting 4 boxes of baby clothes and a bunch of swings and supplies from my sister in law, so I'm not in an extreme need of things.

She lives 5 hours away, and i think it helps her think she's included in my pregnancy journey. She is a hoarder, and i live a pretty messy,  cluttered life because of how i was brought up with her. I know that she is just excited, but it's upsetting me that she's imposing more stuff in general on to me. It's a bit of a strained part of our relationship.

A few outfits would be fine, if they were special and not just "kinda cute" but shes getting a lot, and we don't even know the gender yet. Not to mention toys "that match my old toys" and that are a few years too old for baby yet.  I'm not organized for baby at all yet(military family waiting to see if we have to move before due date), with all my few things i found so far and im already scattered enough as it is.

Can i ask her to not get me so much stuff? Can i ask her if she will check with me first? I'm not sure what the protocol is for first time grandmas. Please help.

Answer

You could donate why you don't need to a women's shelter or goodwill or other local charity. I think it's sweet she's sending so much stuff but you could always tell her you have plenty for now and will let her know if you need anything in the future.

Answer

I say keep it until you find out the sex of your baby. Then take any gender specific or items that you don't like to one of the resale places and get credit to buy something that you do need or clothes that you love. We plan to do that when the baby grows out of clothing or comes out bigger than anticipated.

Answer

My best friends mil, does the same thing. She can't stand it, but just smiles and says thank you. She then donates to people in need. Turning a negative situation into a positive one.

Answer

You should talk to her about it but there are tons of needy children who I'm sure would appreciate your donations!

Answer

Girl you better accept all that good stuff. You never know what and how much you'll need. Anything you know you won't need or baby doesn't like (babies have their own preferences too) donate it back.

Answer

It's okay to tell her how you feel, just tread lightly. She can't help it if it's a compulsion. You can try to steer her in the right direction, but, don't be disappointed if she continues to extreme shop for you. It may take a few conversations and a little heartache.

Answer

Tell her to please not send anything else because you are waiting on a baby shower and going to register for specialty items that you pick out that go with your nursery that are special to you. Tell her you are waiting on the gender also. Ya you could just donate what she sends but it's costing her money to get and send the stuff so rather than wasting her money tell her she's done enough and your very grateful

Answer

You can so and say anything you want. It's your house and your kid. They need a little wrangling in with the first usually.

My Mom as a Grandma, Need advice, Please?

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