If I had a personal radio announcement today "high-lighting" my pregnancy it would read:

Good Morning Michelle and welcome to day 243 of your pregnancy. How'd you sleep last night? Was the hip pain too much? How about that insomnia from 1-4 am? I mean, it allowed you to catch up on all of the horrible news out of Dallas and got you to think real hard about bringing a little girl into his world right? Are you worried?  I'm sure she'll do great.

How many bathroom breaks last night? Four? That's it? Oh well, that'll go up in the next few weeks, so no worries there!  I know how much you love waddling in pain after a long shift at the restaurant to the toilet and then attempting to drift back to sleep whilst listening to your sweet husbands symphony of snores. He's good right? No, oh well just get back on FB and continue reading the news! There's so much good stuff to worry about out there right now!

How about that Charlie Horse in your calf as an alarm clock?! That was good right? Woke you right up out of your two hour nap...whew! I mean, you didn't want to be late to work did you?  You should probably take in more Gatorade and bananas to help with those....oh that interferes with the Gestational Diabetes? Bummer.  How's pricking your finger 4 times a day going anyway? You tired of that yet? Your platelet count still down? It's taking that blood a long time to clot eh? I'm sure that'll resolve itself before you go into labor or need major surgery. No worries!!! 

How's that grapefruit sized cyst on your ovary?  They ever figure out what it was? No? Baby kicking it yet? Gosh that must hurt.  Well, at least you get 8 more ultrasounds than the average mother right? Winning! 

Oh and about that swelling.  I'm sorry you had to take off your wedding band! You wouldn't want to have to cut it off right? Oh and the cankles?! I'm sure they look fine.  Just go swimming, drink a fuck ton of water, and stop eating salt for god's sake! Just like EVERYONE tells you.

Just 37 more days to go!  Oh what?! She's measuring small eh?  Yeah, actually she just might want to cook a little longer...so...hang in there!!!!