Dear Husband,

I really wish you didn't have to deploy. My whole life has been nothing but abuse. I've been violated, dominated, and broken down but I always put a smile on because I felt like I deserved it. I finally started to build myself up: to stop hurting myself, and stopped saying I deserved it all. You gave me strength, and then when we got married you gave me eternity. Now that you have to leave, I've lost the only person in my whole life who's ever loved me. I stare off into space having flash backs. I dream of suicide. The dark cloud that once surrounded me is pulling me in, and I no longer feel joy. I'm also angry. So angry that you have to go because no one else will step up. They fake migraines and headaches then drink and party when they no longer have to go. The hardest thing about this all is when I look at things we do together and see you perfectly.

Please don't take my sunshine away