Money matters

I was hoping to get some opinions from some unbiased people about money matters in a relationship.

My boyfriend and I want to buy a house in the next year. We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck but are trying to save money. He has 2 children from a previous relationship and I have a few thousand in credit card debt so most of the extra money we make a month goes to those two places.

I've always been of the mindset that I like to spend what I make so I like to go traveling or out to eat because hey life is short but in the past year I've been getting more serious about money. Also the last 2 relationships I was in were with men that were bums so I paid most of the bills which is how I ended up in credit card debt because i couldn't afford to pay for 2 people on my salary. Desipite all that I have great credit.

He's not very organized and doesn't have any credit. Basically he has one of those job sponsored debit cards (like not from a bank) where his paycheck goes onto that card, not into an account. He hasn't had a car loan, home mortgage, credit card, nothing.

We are not married but have discussed it a few times and would like to have children in the next few years too.

I would like to take out a loan on my 401k to put towards a down payment since as I mentioned I don't have too much savings and i dont think i can save enough fast enough. This down payment would be less than 10% of what I would like to get in a mortgage so still that's not ideal but it's my only option.

My bf has almost no savings either but has no options like a 401k to draw from either.

We also don't have any family who can financially help us so that's not an option.

I guess my concern/dilemma is I've always been the type of woman who is the responsible one. The bills are in my name, they're paid by me, I take care of everything.

Here I am again fronting all this money and he's putting nothing up. Should I have the house only in my name? Or should I put it in both our names despite him investing way way less than me? Is there a way to make it fair for both of us while achieving our goal? Like if I'm taking 10k out then he needs to pay the first 10k on the house, however long that takes?

I feel like time is running out on many of these major life decisions. I can't wait forever to get a house, get married and have a kid and I really don't want to have to do them all simultaneously as that seems too stressful and a major financial burden. (I'm 32 and he's 33 btw)

He did say we should go open a joint account together next week when we're both off so I know he's serious about taking this next step.

Any advice?