Am I right to be a bit taken back by my sitter in law's behaviour?

Question

Hi girls, I am hoping you can give me your honest opinion. My sister in law came to visit for one night. We went out together and had a lovely time. In the morning, I was making a full English breakfast. She was standing in the kitchen and chatting with me but didn't offer to help. She left straight after the breakfast, leaving everything on the table. When she was gone, I realised that she left the spare room in a mess not even made the bed. I was brought up to make sure offer my help when visiting people and always make sure I don't leave any mess behind me. Am I too harsh to be slightly disappointed in her attitude or is this just because my expectations are too high because of the way I was brought up? Am I too sensitive? Thanks for all responses x

Answer

I was raised the same way, but my husband's family is like that. I made Christmas Eve dinner for 9 people and not one of them offered to help or clean up. They just sat in front of the TV. If it hadn't been for my mom, I would have been a basket case. I handled appetizers, a full meal and dessert on my own..with my moms help. A few months ago, his family came again for supper and the same thing...no help. I've come to expect it from them. I think it's highly rude, but it's just how some people are.

Answer

I don't allow my guests to cook or clean. It makes me happy if they happen to make the bed but honestly if they don't I don't even think about it because usually I'll strip the bed to wash the sheets after they're slept in by a guest (not being rude I just know that I may have a different guest the next time the sheets are slept in and I'm a clean freak). So to me what she did was normal. I wouldn't expect her to help with dishes or breakfast. It's all how you're brought up.

Answer

I think it would be lovely if she had helped or cleaned even a little... But I think you have the right idea about everyone not being raised the same. When family comes to visit us they usually OVER clean, but when friends do they're savages haha and just leave a tornado behind

Answer

I feel like you have a right to be upset but at the same time you need to remember not everybody is brought up the same way as you were

Answer

I say that you have a right to be upset. Most people are raised to at least attempt to clean up after themselves. However, so aren't so unfortunately we have to deal with them sometimes.

Answer

How old is she?

Answer

She should have offered to help. As far as making the bed I would be washing the sheets anyway so no point in making the bed.

Answer

My dad would do the same thing. I know I have yo bring my dishes to the sink and put the room back in order but not every guest realizes this. Just like not every guest who stays awhile realizes you take your host out or you're supposed to buy a thank you gift, even if it's family.

Answer

I can see being a little upset, but I also think your expectations are too high. I was taught to cater to guests and they weren't expected to do anything.

Answer

It's reasonable for you to feel like that but in my opinion yeah maybe your expectations are a lil high because not everyone is raised the same like you said but it was rude of her not to offer any help with breakfast or to wash the dishes

Am I right to be a bit taken back by my sitter in law's behaviour?

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