Boyfriend with anger issues?

Question

Why do I get the blame? He rages at a video game he chooses to play and somehow it's my fault?! I can't take it anymore. He physically and mentally hurts me. Even when I'm fast asleep at night, I'll wake up to find him screaming, throwing objects around and ripping out his hair. It scares me, to wake up to that is horrifying. But the worst part is to have him blame me for it all. I'm asleep ffs, I'm just trying to sleep and i suffer through his rage tantrums and somehow I am to blame?! He says it's because I'm an asshole and I don't know why. I feel so empty inside.... It scares me when he goes to attack me because I never know what he'll do....

Answer

This is abuse. Leave him and contact the police.

Answer

That's not okay. Do you want to stay with him? He needs help.

Rule #1 - no touching out of anger, ever.

He needs tools to simmer down. He can get help for that. He also needs to recognize that what he's doing is wrong and that it terrifies you.

It's not okay.

Answer

I'm sorry this is happening to you, sweetie. It sounds scary. I think you should take it very seriously and start thinking about what you need to be able to leave this relationship.

I was afraid to leave my abuser for a long time, and it was hard too because I still very much loved him. But if I'd known then that a few years later I'd be where I am now, in a much happier, much healthier relationship with a safe, calm, kind man who adores and respects me... It would have made all that fear and loss and confusion so much easier to bear. I believe that the same kind of safe happy future that I found is waiting for you too, once you get away from this guy who is so angry and unpredictable, and who blames you for things that aren't your fault.

Do you have family and friends you can turn to for support? There are a lot of domestic violence hotlines and local agencies that can be very helpful, whether just for someone to talk to, to try to understand what's going on, or to help you brainstorm safe ways to leave if you're worried about that, or safer ways to stay until you're ready to leave, or to connect you with resources in the community to help you with anything you need, or as a place to stay for a while if you need that too. A lot of communities have mental health agencies that can hook you up with a counselor to help sort out how you're feeling and how to feel better. After I left my ex (and also my job because I had to move away) I found a counselor who was so helpful to me. Made all the difference. And since I had no job for a while, and they had a sliding scale, the first bunch of sessions were free. Definitely worth looking into.

Please take care of yourself.

Answer

You need to leave and you need to do it fast, physical violence is NOTHING to play around with. You don't deserve that! But also when you leave or make him leave have people aware of waiting there with you to insure your safety

Answer

He's got game addiction. He needs anger management classes. Don't take this lightly. I know people who did worse. This is just the beginning. Move out and try to get him some help before it's too late

Boyfriend with anger issues?

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