Defeated!

I have only 2 days till my due date and I am feeling beyond defeated in my journey with delivering my 2nd child naturally. I feel a 2nd c section so much. My 1st c-section was so painful and horrifying to me. I see how other women loved the process and would do it again and again and I just can't. My heart aches and my stomach turns. I feel so beat by life...sorry I just wanted to get this off my chest. Hope everyone is having a great night and or morning