Are you in the mood?

Question

My husband told me it is a complete turn off when he rubs my legs, cuddles, and/or strokes my hair and I respond with the question "are you in the mood?"

He says it is a duh moment and instead of asking the question, if I am in the mood to just respond sexually or make a move to just please him.

Has anyone experienced this before? Is this a turn off? What do I do?

PS we only have sex around 2 times a month when I am in the mood...he stopped making moves, he says it is because I told him no too many times! Arg help?!?!

Answer

We would have run into that situation if my partner and I didn't have a specific "clause" in our relationship. I have very specific things that get me into the mood immediately, but am blessed with a partner who gets turned on just by kissing me. He got frustrated that he was always the one initiating it, and wanted me to initiate (at which point I opened up about my frequent lack of arousal). Ultimately, we solved our issues by talking it out and meeting in the middle.

His side of the compromise it that he works to include foreplay that appeals to my mind and arousal needs, plans out romantic one on one time in advance to let me build up to it all day and be excited, and surprises me with little outfits and accessories to prance about the house in. On my side, I wear said outfits (which puts me in said mindset), and I make sure to communicate where I am on the "road of arousal" so he knows what he needs to do to catch me up to where he is. The key to all this is that I avoid shutting a door. If the occasion arrises and I'm not in the mood, then I go along with it because I know I will eventually catch up. And even if I don't, or don't climax, I still get pleasure from the experience and I get pleasure from him getting off. We have sex about every other day, if not daily, unless one of us is sick of in pain.

So my advice is to keep the door open and to communicate clearly and openly with each other. Talk about what turns you on. Talk about what gets you off and what doesn't. Go toy shopping together and pick out something you want to use together (like a magic wand, wireless vibrating panties, etc.). There are a lot of benefits from that kind of openness with each other's sexuality. :) Hope this helps!!

Answer

I'm not always in the mood but it's healthy for your relationship to just let it happen sometimes, fake it, play with him, do whatever you need to do but it builds their self esteem up and keeps them being attracted to you. My SO wants to have sex like 3 times a day at least and we both work full time so imagine how often I'm not in the mood? You just have to please them sometimes. :)

Answer

I totally understand how you feel! Although I have a very high sec drive, sometimes I'm just not in the mood... But he is so I do it just to please him. I just fake it and he loves it just the same

Are you in the mood?

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