Very heartbroken 😢😢😢

Not baby related but I'm so depressed. I've had this cat since I was 19. And he is me and my husband little boy. So sweet and a short life that wasn't lived. I had to put him down tonight. He had a stroke which made a blood clot go to his legs. He lost a pulse in both legs. His pads in his paws were black and blue. They were ice cold!! And he couldn't walk anymore. I drove 45 minutes away to the emergency vet And hearing him cry was killing me. Even when I was about to take him  I could see tears in his eyes. Which broke my heart even more. This maybe weird to some but I'm having him cremated. And his ashes will go on an earn (however you spell it) and I'll be able to bring him home in a week or so. The doctor was so caring and he knew I didn't have much money to give him a proper death. I guess you could say. So he took off over fifty dollars and I was so grateful to them for everything. I'm so hurt but I know he's flying high. But to bad he had to leave so soon and his brother and sister (cats) are missing him. I'm sorry I just really needed to vent. There's my baby. May 2013 - July 2016!!!! 😢💔💔