Competitive "Friends"

My husband has a childhood friend who he grew up with and likes very much. I kind of like him too because I see my husband is so happy when they are together. The problem is I can't stand this man's wife and everytime the four of us get together, I am really stressed, upset, frustrated and even jealous, competitive or hateful. That woman brings out the worst in me and makes me hate the kind of person I become when she's around. I resent having to spend time with them, my husband knows it, but he doesn't understand me. He really likes his buddy and it saddens me that I can't put my discomfort aside for him to enjoy time with his friend. I've tried faking it, ignoring it, being quite for a whole evening or even going the extra length to be extra nice and non-competitive, but no matter what I do this woman says and does things to hurt me. When we're out without that man's wife, all goes well, and when they go out the 3 without me, all goes well too. So it's really when we both ladies are there.