Advice? 😔

Question

Hey ladies, so my boyfriend was a smoker for only about a week or two and then he quit. I don't really like smoking and I didn't want him to because alot of my family has passed away from cancer from smoking. Also I'm not into people who smoke (he started way after we were already dating) He's been clean for a very long time but today he just told me he picked up a pack of cigarettes to help with his jaw pain. But I don't understand why because he has pain relievers in his car. What do you think of the situation?

Answer

Real talk, it's not your place to ask him to quit because he's going to do it anyways. That's just something you're going to need to accept or move on. It's harsh and it sucks but it's true. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I know it's stressful, but the cold truth is that he's a smoker and you can either learn to live with it or let him go. We all need to make sacrifices.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I really hope it gets better for you!!!

Answer

I disagree with previous commenters, I think you have the right to ask him to stop. Both serious relationships I have been in ( including my current one ), I haven't had to ask, they've asked me if it was okay if they smoked cigarettes/cigars. I told my first boyfriend no because I was definitely not okay with it and so he didn't. My current man ( who is now my fiancé ) stopped smoking cigarettes right before we started dating, which I thought was awesome. He still smokes the occasional cigar, but that's more of a social thing or something to reduce stress so I don't really mind ( plus it's kind of sexy as hell to watch him blow smoke 😜 ). But I think you're totally in your right to ask him to quit because it's your relationship too. Secondhand smoke is an awful and under-recognized thing.

Answer

I get its hard for you to deal with. I personally have had family members die from smoking.  I would but him nicotine gum and the nicotine patch to help encourage him to quit.  At the end of the day though you can't make him do anything.

Answer

I disagree, my boyfriend smoke cigarettes & weed when we met & I didn't like that the smell was terrible I set that man straight. Idk it's just something in us Spanish girls that makes a man change.

Answer

He could b saying that to hide that possibly he's starting up again.. Just watch closely

Answer

He might change his ways because of love but it might be a process. It can be hard to stop doing something like that. So don't shut him out completely if he relapses or something. It can be hard dealing with him smoking because of ur family history but it hurts him that hes hurting u. But try to be open and understanding. I never been in a situation like this before but ik that ppl can't help doing things that are an escape for them (drugs, sex, self harm, etc), so this is how I'll try to handle a situation like that. I hope it all works out for u

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