Tumors, Septum, & Endo - OH MY!

Oh! They did the Laproscopy and Hysteroscopy, but they also found a fibroid tumor and some endometriosis. They had to make a second, 1 1/2-inch incision at my pubic line to remove the Endo. I'm assuming the tumor was inside my uterus so they removed it vaginally. I was so out of it when they were explaining everything I honestly don't know. 

The pain is pretty intense. For the first couple of days the worst pain was in my chest and shoulders. Apparently, the gas they use to distend the abdomen causes you to feel like you're having a heart attack. I thought my mom (a nurse) was exaggerating when she warned me of this, but she wasn't. 

Once the anesthesia wore off I started feeling the pain from the incisions. Remember, they cut through ALL the layers, all the way down to my lady parts - including the abdominal muscles. Every single move hurts!! I don't even want to TALK about how much it hurt to puke when I was coming off the anesthesia. My belly button is completely purple (bruising I guess) and both incisions are covered heavily with super glue. Every time I shift in my seat or in bed, it feels like someone is trying to rip the glue off, and every muscle hurts, like someone kicked me repeatedly in the abdomen. 

My throat was damaged from the breathing tube. I'm not sure if it was from when it went in or came out but I can barely talk and it feels like I have Strep Throat. People have a hard time hearing me on the phone. I've stuck to texting as much as possible, and breathing is still a little tough so I don't want to talk much anyway. 

I get on social media today and see reminders for my sister's baby shower (as if I needed a reminder), and find out that two friends are both pregnant with their SECOND child. Yuck! I couldn't stand looking at their happy, cheesy little "look who's gonna be a big sister" posts. I had to shut it down. I couldn't even look at my newsfeed. Call me hateful, but after all I've been through and all the physical and mental pain I have suffered (&Sam suffering), it's best I just step back before I hurt myself more or say something hurtful to someone else. 

Part of me is glad I'm laid up and can't attend my sister's shower today. I kind of want to thank her for not thinking of my surgery when she scheduled her shower. Now I don't have to suffer through another baby shower while I still don't know for certain why I've had four miscarriages in 5 years. I won't have to play any stupid games, or see people I don't really want to see, or answer questions I don't want to answer. I can just sit here and take my pain pills, sip my juice, eat my light snacks, and let my SO spoil me. I'm so thankful for paid sick leave and a SO who would move the world for me, even if my own family doesn't even care enough to check in because they are so busy with my sister's stupid baby shower. I always thought having a shower for the second child was kind of tacky anyway.