This will probably come out all wrong

But here I go anyways.

I did a whole IVF this last month and was negative at my beta just this last Thursday. I was bleeding Wednesday so I pretty much figured and was heart broken. My husband was supportive and held me through the tears.

The thing is with my Hashimotos my hormones are already out of whack and everything I take on is stressful. I own a business so I work all the time and I took on 3 Masters programs that I am completing concurrently. With 4 classes, the IVF, and work drama. I had just lost it on my husband. I really didn't mean to, but it started a fight for two days because he decided that with my "attitude" that he didn't want me around him or his friends. To be honest, I probably needed a night out just as much as he did. We have thrown in selling our house and moving into all of this too. The night he went out I packed all my stuff. I just needed a break and stayed at our new house. I am really not trying to lay blame, but the next day I was cramping and didn't feel well. I think this caused my BFN, but didn't bring it up with my husband because it was really all my actions that caused this.

The next day after my BFN he got horrible news about our house. Basically, if we sell we will be paying to do so. He cried the whole night. I have been trying to talk to him about doing a frozen transfer. I have 5 eggs frozen. He told me that doing the IVF was the bottom line and he can't stand anymore disappointment. Plus, now with the house he doesn't want me to spend the money.

I made a follow up appointment for the 11th of this month to see, if there was anything that went "wrong" though I think it was just taking on to much. The frozen transfer is $1200, but now with the house issue he is really sensitive about money. I talked to my financial advisor and came up with a plan to deal with the house that made my husband super happy.

He is now away for work and won't be back for months. He says he doesn't want me to try again because after this loss and our miscarriage last year he can't take it anymore.

What I am getting at is am I awful if I do the frozen transfer and not tell him? We both agreed I wouldn't do another cycle of IVF and I wont go through it again. I just thought if I do the frozen one and it doesn't work then he won't need to go through those feelings again. I don't think that time is going to help. I know it's a bit shady, but also know he will be over joyed if I do get a BFP.