This is just a rant!

I'm so fricking pissed and sick to my stomach. My ex and I are still pretty ok friends. We made the mutual choice to split and stay friendly but still move on with life.

Ok, anyways, I have borderline personality disorder. I was diagnosed years ago, but I never "got around" to telling him because anytime anybody hears "personality disorder" they forget everything else and end up ditching me. I'm a fucking pariah.

A few weeks ago, I DID tell him, but the conversation didn't go anywhere. He wasn't listening; didn't care. I said the three words and he said "whatever, it makes no difference to me." And then, obviously, he promptly forgot about it.

Because yesterday, we were arguing about something and he asked me why I do this or that. So I explained again, "I have a personality disorder so sometimes I idolize people without realizing" I didn't say which type... I was hoping he didn't actually forget. Lol.

When he didn't say anything, I went on with "I told you a little while ago but I knew you'd forget and it's fine." But no, this boy INTERRUPTS me with "I didn't forget, because I have the exact same thing too!!! I see people who do cool things and think they're so amazing and I want to know them! I just didn't tell anybody because I like keeping things to myself."

I'll be honest, I lost it at "I have it too" because I've known this man for two fucking years and he is NOT borderline NOR has a disorder of any kind. Not like that. What's more, he couldn't tell me what kind of PD he allegedly has. Which means he didn't research it, much less get diagnosed. Didn't even try. Its like he heard the words "personality disorder" and decided on the spot that THAT'S how he's going to try to relate to me now. By lying????

I tell him, there's a dozen different types of PDs, each with their own sets of symptoms, usually being extreme ones too, and I've been studying them ever since I found out I have one, and if he's going to lie to me, to at least have the decency to Google it so he has a chance at being believed.

But instead of OWNING UP like any ADULT should, he just says "WHATEVER, YOU DON'T KNOW ME AND MY BRAIN."

Ex. Fucking. Scuse. Me.

I can't even begin to get into all the implications of that. This douche honestly thinks I'm SO stupid, that I'll just lay down and take that load of crap?

And then he tries to make me feel sorry for him. He's really good at that. The only mental illness he has is depression, and chronic Pity Party syndrome. For real.

I can't with this. Every time I think about it I get so sick. At this point I'm going to need to cut ties. Obviously I'm extremely sensitive about mental health (or lack thereof) and he knows this but still thought pulling this stunt would fly with me.

CHRIST ON A BIKE I'M SO ANGRY TO THE POINT OF HOMICIDE