Loosing hope

When I was 17 I had an abortion.  When I was 18 I had a miscarriage of twins (didn't know I was pregnant at all. Apparently was  7 was estimated of the size of sacks Had my period and then the nxt month is when I miscarried ... I am 27 now and nothing since , my boyfriend and I have been trying naturally for over a year  and I keep developing bacterial vaginiosis.    Or thrush (Dnt know if that's the issue )  I obviously treat it , going on a on going battle with reoccurring bv for years now    I have had ovarian cysts that cleared up on its own and apparently everything looks fine .. My periods have changed since I was younger from 28 day cycle to now 32 day cycle.   My partner and I have gone to the doctor and he did a sperm analysis on him , he's perfectly fine.  .. So now waiting for the fertility clinic to call me win a app    I feel like I'm loosing hope every month I get my hopes up and bam af always on time.    It's taking a emotional toll on me especially the fact I feel like I had my chance and I fucked it up letting someone tell me  (my exes mother , long story. Was not in school I didn't I have a job living with my bf at the times house with his mother ) what to do and abort my child.    I am living in deep regret and I feel like I'm being punished     Anyone else having issues conceiving when you've been pregnant before ?