Here it is...Goodbye.

From March to today...

March 28, had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. Lost baby and part of my left tube.

June 28, exactly 3 months, got my positive test! Excited but scared as hell!

July 21, first appointment, supposed to be 8 weeks, measured at 6 weeks 1 day. Everything looked good, saw a very small flicker of the heart but that was it.

Today, went for another ultrasound since the first was too early. Still measuring at 6 weeks 2 days. Baby hasn't grown, no heart beat!

Tomorrow, go to fill out paperwork to have a D&E.

This fucking sucks!

Now I say goodbye to March 17 and just look forward to the next hour, the next day, the next step and the healing.

I just want to say bless all you mommies whether you're having a healthy perfect pregnancy, a slightly difficult pregnancy, a scary as hell pregnancy, or going it alone pregnancy. Bless you and the babies you are still carrying!

Even though I'm struggling to hold my head up at the moment, my love goes out to you and your babies!

Thank you for all your words of encouragement. My family is here with me taking each step together. My husband has been very strong for me and our kids have been extremely sweet, their 5 and 6.

Update: I go to have a D&E Monday morning.