Best friend rant.

One of my best friends for 25+ years is on my last nerve. She is a military wife and her oldest son was early. He was 35.4 days gestation when he was born which is still considered preemie. Her cervix is short so she couldnt hold him in any longer. She and her husband were overseas when he was born and she had some issues because they didnt deliever at the hospital on base and there were not a lot of english speaking drs. My handsom little nephew only stayed in the nicu for 5 days. She was dropped off everyday before her husband went to work and he would come after work and they would go home at night.

Ok well my daughter was born at 29 weeks due to fetal anemia. I delievered 3 hours away from my home by emergency c section with a classical incision. Ok there is a huge huge difference between a 29 week preemie with fetal anemia and a healthy 35 week preemie.

I understand she cares and is always asking how baby is doing but any time i update her its the same response " well they didnt do that with my son, my son didnt need that are you sure you do? " constantly. Its like yea i am pretty sure my daughter needs a blood transfusion thats how you treat fetal anemia, your son didnt have fetal anemia soo thats why he didnt need one. Shes like why did yours need a nasal canulla mine didnt. Well dear lung development at 29 weeks is far different than lung development and close to 36 weeks. Well why does she need a feeding tube my son didnt. Well lets thibk about this. At 29 weeks i dont know of a baby that can eat on its own let alone digest anything. Baby is not strong enough to even try to eat on her own. Well why are they fortifing your breast milk my son didnt need that its dumb. Well your son was 6 lbs at birth vs my 2lb 13 oz baby who needs the extra calories to gain weight.

You know when youve known someone so long you learn there "tells" like when they are mad or upset or dont believe you. She has a major tell when she thinks your lying and i constantly hear it.

I understand she is trying to relate to me but telling me i am lucky and had a better experience than you because all my doctors spoke english is not fair. I cannot imagine how terrifying it was to be overseas and have to wait for an english speaking doctor but she had one at least once a day for the 5 whole days they stayed with her son.

I had to travel 3 flippin hours one way. I had to pay $20 a day to park not to mention hospital food. I slept in a chair bedside because what else was i supposed to do for 6 whole weeks before we came home. I had an older child to take care of and balance time with at home and deal with the pain of a c section. On top of the fetal anemia treatment and watchinf my daughter have multiple blood transfusions and not being able to hold her for weeks.

How the hell can you ever compare the two and dare to tell me i am lucky and had it better than you!?!?

Ugh sorry ladies. I am still emtional and hormonal. My husband keeps telling me to relax she is just trying to be a good friend and support me but i dont really see it that way. I definitely dont want to fight with her either or take away from her experience but hell ours are absolutely nothing like hers.