Long Coming of Age rant 

First person in family to

- not be a teen mom 

- Graduate high school 

- Go to college

 During first semester of my college year my mom met a guy online, got pregnant and decided to get married . All within 7 months, ok then mom . He had a mental issue, reminded me of Down syndrome but weren't told what it was . He was ok at first but after about a year got handsy with my brothers . They would fight but nothing serious as I fought my brothers too (I'm a girl) so it seemed fine . One night I heard a loud "thump" and go downstairs to find her husband slamming my brother in the wall creating a huge hole and chocking him . What do I do ? I was about 140 and he was 275 easy . Grab closest thing to me and hit him in the head . I think it was a rolling pin . He turned around and punched me in the face . 

Here's where it gets crazy .

With all the screaming she asked what happened and my brother and I explained .  She asked " what are you even doing downstairs ?" Are you fucking kidding me ? She said he was the man of the house and could do as he pleaded and said if I didn't like it needed to leave . So she kicked me out at about 4 am .

I stayed with some friends and had to pay . I eventually had to go back to see my siblings . I had no more financial aid or loan money to pay for the room(s) I was renting . Mom said I could come back if it was easier for my finances so I did . She told me how sorry she was, how much she loved me and that we were still best friends . I couldn't look at her, it felt so fake . I never saw her the same . Me and her husband did not speak and if we did it was always nasty . 

About 2 weeks later I met this guy and we dated for about a week then after telling him my sob stories - I have a fucking dysfunctional abusive family - he said he wanted to take care of me . The following Friday we drove to Vegas and got married ! It's now a year and 8 months together and some days it's hard . I was 18 when we got married so I was in debt from dropping my second semester of college . Bad credit from my mom using my name on bills . And no job experience other that babysitting . It was a struggle but since my husband is working hard I didn't have to so much to make ends meet . I worked fast food, security, administrative/teacher assisting but now I'm thinking of going back to school . The problem is I don't know what I want to do . I plan taking GE classes but I can't just get an AA degree with just that . 

Over the last 2 or so months I've been notified that I'm developing scoliosis to the left side, bone degeneration , sciatica and fibrocystic breasts . This had me really down because I was happy for a while then BOOM, life hit me like semi . I was (kinda still) in constant pain . Either my whole left side of my body goes numb or tingles/burns at random times . How can I go forward in life like this ? Ive been in bed primarily the whole time except doing groceries, seeing chiropractors and doctors . I've had ultrasounds, an MRI and blood tests, all is normal so far . 

School is the cherry on top of a shit mountain that is starting to seriously depress me . How will my days go in school because of this ? I'm hoping I can at least make it past this year before I can take another break . 

Anyone else feel the same ? I really can't afford to be depressed and having no hobbies makes it worse .