feeling like a failure
Girls, do you ever feel like you're just fucking everything up with your baby? My daughter is 4 months old and Today I got home and just felt like I'm doing everything wrong. She won't nap when we aren't home, so I feel like I've been too overbearing in her nap time, making her unable to flex... I also find she won't really eat while we are out. I try and try to feed her but she'll hours without eating because she's too distracted by what's going on around her. I always feed her in our room laying down on our bed in dim lighting so I feel like again, I've crippled her from being able to flex outside the house. I also spend forever putting her down at night and she will only go down with my nipple in her mouth for minimum an hour. An hour of being kicked and punched and bit and tugged on.
And I feel like it's all my fault sometimes because I have trouble letting other take care of her. I can't let her cry. I want her near me all the time. I feel guilty if she plays alone too long... I feel like I see myself being so overbearing and I just don't know how to stop myself. My doctor told me that she should have gained a little more at her 4 month appointment and I feel like it's all my fault. I feel like I've been starving her or something because she doesn't eat as well when we aren't home. She eats, by not as frequently as when we are home.
I'm feeling overwhelmed today. And no, it's not PPD. I'm generally really happy and loving being a mom but sometimes everything hits at once at I just wanna sleep forever except she's waking me up soon to eat
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