Moms who self-harm

Yes I know it's a terrible thing, yes I'm a terrible example, yes I'm a horrible mom. Got it. I'm just wondering if there are others out there who struggle. I started self-harming when I was 12 and didn't get clean until I was 20. Which I had 2 kids by that point. I was clean for 2 years, but I recently just relapsed and now I'm pregnant with my third. It's so hard to break away I alone?