I don't know what to do anymore.

I've been dating my partner for 5 years now. And I grew up with him since we were little kids. His mom was extremely abusive. She would beat him with bats across the head, starve him for weeks at times, not allow him to shower or bathe etc. Going into the relationship everyone told me all the warning signs of people who come from this type of background and how they tend to be more abusive. At first it was great. He was amazing. Our first "abusive" incident was 1 year into our relationship. I went to the beach with his friends wife and a couple of other girls. We'd been there hours and I texted him to come get us. When he got there he was extremely angry and I didn't know why.. he told me that I'm a slut and a whore etc. Then told me it's because there were males on the beach and I was in a bikini. I shouldn't even have to justify myself but, it wasn't like I was talking or hanging out with them. In fact I wasn't anywhere near them.. they were a few yards away.

Mini fights in between there.

Flash forward to 2 years ago. I got a new job. He became very jealous and protective. He wouldn't let me drive my own vehicle etc (he doesn't have a license and literally would drive me to work and drive himself home just to make sure I wasn't taking off on him) we had a really heated argument one night. I said I was done and left him. I left and was gone for a week when a Co worker of mine offered me to sleep at his place (as I was paying for a hotel on minimum wage). Well when I went back he found the texts between this guy saying to stay over etc. He freaked out so bad he was throwing everything in our apartment and punching holes In the walls. I reached for my phone and he snagged it and said I'm not going anywhere. Well a neighbor ended up hearing this thankfully and called 911. The police showed up and nearly arrested him that's how angry and out of control he was.

Well I decided after this I wasn't going to stay in this relationship. I was scared but I had to do this. I went back to my Co workers house until my mom could pick me up from 8 hours away (plus I had surgery a week later) so he offered me a room and food. My partner kept texting me, I'm not talking a text here and there.. like I'm talking he'd say "a" send "b" send etc. About 100 texts a minute. Begging me to come home to him. At one point I feel like he went very delusional. He was sending me pictures of him at a restaurant with 2 menues and 2 drinks saying "hey baby just got here for our reservation see you soon" when we never had plans. This went on for a week. Afterwards I ended up going back.. we moved across the country and now I feel isolated. We went to buy cupcakes a few weeks ago and we were talking to the baker and he loudly in front of her Said "you sure you want these? They're going to go right to your thighs and ass" and she was just jaw dropped I was so embarrassed.

I'm now 5'2 135 pounds. We just an hour ago went to pet value to get some cat food for my cat. He pointed to my stomach and I thought maybe he was referring to a possible baby in there and being cute. I said "what!?" And he said "you need to start sucking that in" and I was so humiliated as people were around to hear it. I'm currently locked in my bathroom crying I feel so disgusting and honestly I've never been so suicidal in my life.

Edit no one can come. I live 3 days of a drive away from my family and have no money