There was a post about someone who was mad because a woman that she talked to said she put her husband first instead of her kids. In all honesty I agree with her; your spouse should come first. I hate when people argue stating that your kids "won't leave you" your kids "won't break your heart" your kids "won't betray you" I'm sorry but kids are completely capable of those things. Yes it may not happen when they're 10 or even 16 but when they grow and mature and see the world around them and develop their adult way of thinking as time goes on, they can do all of those things. You and your spouse are basically going to be the outline for what a marriage and relationship is to your kids, so slacking on care for husband is going to show to them and they will just naturally think that that's how things are. You love your children differently than your spouse, both play very important roles in your life and you should care for them with a lot of love on both sides. I've learned these things first hand because myself as well as my two step brothers left my dad and his wife, she was addicted to painkillers and my dad was breaking his back trying to provide for her and hisself with 3 jobs and barely anytime to sleep. None of us could stand by any more and watch it, so we basically cut them off in a sense. My dad barely contacted me until I decided to joint the military and he stole $6,000 from my mentally disabled brother when we were younger and my mom had no idea. It just breaks my heart that when I grew up I realized what kind of person my dad was.