FTM here and I heard a TON of negative birth stories when I was pregnant so I wanted to share my story as it was a very positive empowering experience. I can honestly say it was not nearly as horrible and painful as I expected!! This is a long one as I personally appreciate details so bear with me! :)

I didn't have any signs she was coming soon at all. No braxton, nothing. At midnight on my due date I lost my mucus plug and a half an hour later while brushing my teeth my water broke. I called my duloa to discuss (she was great..highly recommend one if you want one and can afford it ). My plan was to labor at home as long as possible so she told me to just try to get some rest as it could be a long time. I laid in bed for prob 2 hours trying to sleep w/ no luck. My husband was asleep and I left him alone as I knew he'd probably need his rest. I felt like my contractions came on quick and they were pretty close together right off the bat. I couldn't lay down any more. I just wanted to walk around and rock my hips back and forth with my hands on the wall. Felt like period cramps.. not too painful. By 3am I texted my doula and she offered to come over. I told her not yet so she recommended I time them for an hour using an app. I started timing them and hopped in the shower, I figured hot water would feel nice and I was right! I took candles in the bathroom too & kept the lights low..it was very relaxing. I was in there for prob and hour and a half or so. My contractions were about 3...3 & a half mins apart around 5am and I called the doula to come over. When she arrived she said that I seemed really calm and she didn't think I was in active labor based on my demeanor. At this point I had been on my feet for hours so she suggested I lay down and to see if my contractions slow down...if they continue to progress then I could be in active labor. She timed my contractions for about an hour and they continued to get closer together and stronger. At this point 3 mins/ 2 & a half mins apart we decided to go to the hospital (I know! Decided to cut it real close!). This was our plan as I live very close to the hospital (less than 10 min drive).

I got to the hospital around 6:45am. It was morning shift change so I ended up waiting in a room for a whole hour before anyone came in. I was getting a little annoyed that no one came check me yet. Finally they came and started to monitor me. That was a little difficult because I couldnt walk as much. I continued to put my arms on my husband's neck and sway back and forth while he held a hot compress on my lower abdomen (this felt great!). I was very lucky that I had no back labor (sat on my birthing ball a lot! Daily in the 3rd trimester per my doulas instructions!). I turned down the IV but let them take some blood for labs. They couldn't take my word that my water broke so they asked me to lay down so they can see if my water would "pool"..I was very annoyed by this...you know when your water breaks! Plus I only wanted to be on my feet at this point. I wasnt in a ton of pain but it was starting to get intense and being upright was much better than sitting for me. I asked for nitrous oxide as the hospital here (CA, united states) just started carrying it (its been used in Europe for years now! The USA is behind the curve here but starting to catch on...its great stuff!!) I didn't want any narcotics or epidural but I knew I wanted to use the nitrous as its very minimal and doesn't have much risk. I explained that I would have a hard time laying down without something. They let me use the nitrous and it was very helpful. You must breathe deeply to use it so that's helpful as you must breath deep anyways. I still felt everything but I was so much more relaxed (a little drunk feeling). They finally checked me around 8am or so and I was 7 and a half. I soon hit transition.. I was kinda sorta aware of what was happening around me but very much in my own world. My husband breathed with me every time, holding my hand so I could squeeze and keeping his face close to mine.. he keept telling me "it's almost over". I breathed deep and exhaled deep...moaning low on the exhale... like a cow mooing. I knew going in that I needed to be in control, no screaming as that tenses you up and then that hurts more. TMI I peed on the table at one point lol I didn't even care...I had been drinking so much water and since I was in transition there was no way I was about to get up to go pee.. so during an intense contraction I just let it go. Lol one nurse thought maybe it was my waters but i heard my doula like "no, she just peed during that contraction". Lol

I then felt like I needed to poo and I knew that was the sign it's ready to push. This stage was easier than the transition. It was nice to be "active" and to do something. I told them what I was feeling (the poo sensation) and that I was ready. They had to rush and get the midwife.. she wasn't going to check on me for another few hours. I pushed laying on my side for a while. The nurse asked me to get on my back as "that position wasn't doing me any favors!"...I wish I would have put up more of a fight on that but I didnt have the energy to protest. Next time, if there is a next time, I don't want to push on my back. The nurse was getting on my nerves so I was relieved when the midwife came in to take over, she was great. I pushed for a half an hour roughly and was mindfully trying to take my time even though I wanted it to be over. I didn't want to tear and I knew it was better to take it slow to prevent that. I felt her head as I crowned (strange feeling!). Then her heart rate was dropping as the umbilical cord was flattening...I didn't know that at the time... All i heard was the midwife telling me to pay attention to her voice because she needed me to get her out on this push. So I listened and I did bear down with all my might and she came out.

8 pounds even, 10:27am.

It was such a relief to be done!! Hearing her cry was a wonderful feeling. I was so happy. Definitely a rush of endorphins. The midwife then had me take a shot of oxytocin & pass the placenta..it practically fell out on its own. Didn't hurt at all..felt like a big blob. She then said I had a second degree tear...which surprised me because I always thought you'd feel tearing but I didn't. She used topical anesthetic and did stitches..didn't feel that either.

I was holding my girl skin to skin and enjoying everything. It was amazing.

I have a new respect for my body and myself. I felt so powerful and proud! I used to think I'd for sure use an epidural (why wouldn't you?! I used to think) until I started doing my research and I did find some good reasons not to (for me...no hate on anyone that has one! Your birth experience is yours and yours alone! Everyone should do what feels right to them!) I then decided I'd try not to but would be okay if I wanted one while in the swing of things. I never once wanted one. I was fine. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be!!

If you think you want to try a birth with no epidural etc...I say give yourself a chance. We are made to do this and you absolutely can. You are perfectly designed to birth your baby!

I highly recommend reading Ina May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth. Really helped me feel confident that we as women got this!! I also recommend sitting on your birthing ball and exercises to help your baby get into a good position to avoid back labor. Oh! And dates! Eating 6 a day in the 3rd tri...supposed to help you dialate quickly.

Good luck mama's!!!! :) Wishing you a great experience!!