Life threw me a curve ball with this one

Pauline 🌈 • Eleven angels in heaven. "Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue..."
We have had 4 losses this year, with the last loss being an ectopic the first week of July. I got the methotrexate shot and two weeks later my levels dropped to 0. I started taking my massive doses of folic acid as soon as my levels dropped. I asked my doctor for a three month prescription for the mini pill so that we would be protected during the waiting period after methotrexate and wouldn't be at a higher risk for complications from the methotrexate. 
I missed one pill. One freaking pill. And we only forgot to use a condom twice. We've been TTC for 15 months now, including cycle tracking, letrozole, all of that stuff. After all of that, THIS is the month I get a positive pregnancy test? I've had one period since he methotrexate so I'm not terribly worried about deformities and such, especially since my folic acid is at 4mg daily...I'm a day late and decided to test on a whim, because of course there is no way, I'm on the pill, yadayada. 
BOOM. Pregnant. Life is weird, and I'm annoyed. I missed literally ONE pill. I couldn't get pregnant or stay pregnant on purpose, and now that we decided on a 3 month break, I'm pregnant? What the hell life? 
I'm very afraid of another ectopic and early miscarriage. I've never heard any of my angels' hearts beat. I haven't had time to prepare and build up my walls...I was supposed to have another month or two at least to build those. I'm blindsided. Holy shit. 
I'm sorry it was long. I'm afraid/pissed/confused/and a lot of other things right now. 
I want this rainbow to make it earth side. I'm afraid to be excited. Thank you for reading and/or commenting.