So confused

Lemme just vent since I can't on facebook and have no one to talk to.. I'm so lost and don't even know how to handle myself anymore. The worst feeling in the world is loving someone more than you can express, more than you can put into words and knowing they love you but not knowing how much, knowing you definitely care more. Match my love. Match my loyalty. Show me I matter because I don't feel like it. The words "I love you" don't matter if your actions don't reflect it, 100% of the time. I legitimately can't imagine talking to or hanging out with any person of the opposite sex. If it's not something you do or say right in front of me it's wrong and shouldn't be done, period. Three years. Three LONG HARF CRAZY years. No one else would stick through going to prison TWICE, and still be here working on it. No one else would be dumb enough to stay after catching him texting or sexting females. No one else would let it go that their man messaged 50 girls while she was pregnant. NO OTHER FEMALE IS THIS STUPID. Why do I love you? Why do I do this to myself? I'm so sick of hearing "were not together" that's a pretty lame ass excuse considering you asked me to move back in, told me you found the perfect ring (my left hand needs an upgrade, like an engagement ring) and told me you don't want no one but me. WHY DON'T YOU SHOW IT?! I'm so sick of wondering what the hell is going on in my relationship. I'm not one to just say fuck it I'll talk to guys too, fuck it he don't care, I don't care. I DO. Way more than I should. This is so heart breaking. I'm trying so hard to enjoy every second I can because I honest to god feel like once this baby gets here he's going to leave forreal. He's only acting like this because he wants on the birth certificate .. I feel like in 9 days give or take I'm going to loose the love of my life right after meeting the most important person in my life and I don't know how to handle it.. I'm so broken.