Am I expecting too much?
Hello ladies,
I have been married for 5 years and dating the same man for another 5 before. We have our ups and downs but we get through them. On his part, he is thoughtful and cares about me.
Before we got married we were in a long distance relationship. And I would see him once or twice a year as he studied in a different country.
Since we have been married we would make love every other day. Slowly it moved to once a week. And now it's almost never.
Last time we made love was almost three weeks ago. And that was after I was away from him for a month long trip.
Now, I know my husbands been working very hard as he is training for a tournament. And so, Friday's, Saturday's and Sunday's he is out practicing.
Rest of the week days, he goes to work and comes home.
Now, I don't want to sound like I don't care about him because I genuinely do. But I love it when he makes love to me. And looks like I need it more than he does. But unfortunately all my advances, and hints lead to nothing. The other day I spoke to him and expressed my frustration and he said two things to me.
1. You (as in me) have more craving than I (as in him) do for sex
2. He really doesn't feel like doing it
3. He asked me what's wrong in not wanting it and not feeling like pleasing your partner. Because he really isn't into it
4. He also suggested we go to a doctor.
Now, in all honesty, my husband wasn't always the experimental kind. He went down on me say once and later said he doesn't like doing that. I was okay with that. Because I believe that each of us have our own preferences and things we are okay with. And I was okay to not expect that kind of pleasure out of him.
Secondly, I know he isn't gay. Because he loves playing with my boobs. And gets a lot of pleasure out of them.
Third, in the years we have been together - I do come almost every other time.
So, for those reasons I did not consider the doctor suggestions seriously. But not being able to receive any loving, fondling, kissing is making me sad and needy.
And I am really trying to focus on other things but I wonder if I was in his place and not into it on a certain day
1. I would still do it. Because I care about him a lot.
2. Most times I usually give in to him and focus on his pleasure And that makes me feel good.
3. Am I really expecting too much out of him? I know people's libido slowly dies down - but this seems strange to me. And we even don't have kids yet.
Lastly, I can figure all alternates out - like I can surround myself with friends and conversations. Be more busy. But this one thing - I can't find alternates in other people.
But ignoring my needs Also seems absolutely a no no and wrong at some level.
Lastly, the reason I am putting it on this forum is because this isn't the first time this has happens in the last 2-3 years. It happens often and I am only seeing the trend now.
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